Fire, Feagaiga and Feminism*

…Or why this white looking wanderer went home to get her malu

I was really excited when I was first asked to speak about my malu.... 

My very first thought was- I wonder if I can pretend that THOSE are MY legs.  But I think even liberal references to photoshopping wouldn’t work- damn you reality! I really really really want legs like Stacie!

My second thought was about how very personal this discussion would be.  While in Western society- the question ‘who are you’ is a chance to delve into deep philosophical questions about our humanity, the equivalent question in Samoan, ‘o ai oe’ can be a deep insult and a challenge.  Because we are all supposed to know anyone who is anyone, and all of their ancestors, way, way, way back to Tagaloa.  Speaking about my malu, will answer that question, which in Samoa can be so taboo to ask- it will tell you who I am.

When I was 16 I wanted a malu. I didn’t think they were particularly beautiful (probably because I didn’t have legs like Stacie). But (like every Samoan) I was well aware of my bloodlines and felt it was my birthright.  My parents thought I would feel differently when I got older.  They said 'ah but you want to be a lawyer and that is a very conservative profession’. My mum worried about how it might affect my ability to wear minis and my dad warned me about the gang affiliations of tattoos in the West. Of course I obeyed- in Samoa we don’t rebel- we just get musu (this is where you are rebelling quietly to yourself so you don’t feel that salu lima).

So over a decade later, when I was living in Australia, working in that conservative profession and occasionally flaunting my vae taamu (for the palagis, I just compared my legs to a particularly thick root crop), when my cousins called to tell me they were having their tatau done, despite not having any money or holiday time, I was on the very next plane to Samoa.

Why was I so eager to feel the bite of the 'au? Especially given the pain is legendary and it leaves you with bruises like these.

Perhaps it was because even after all this time overseas, I realised that it was the values of my culture ingrained so deeply in me, that had empowered and enabled me to succeed so far from the shores of Samoa.

The Samoan culture I grew up with is fiery. There is a passion and a power in excelling and in being the best.  This was always expected of me. Particularly academically.  The way you achieved reflected not only on you, but on your entire family. Some of you may not know this but Samoans are well known, especially across the Pacific for being just a bit arrogant.  I think that is because the pride we take in ourselves is not individual, it is pride in who we are as a collective, as part of a family, as a reflection of something much bigger than ourselves.

The  culture I grew up with was feminist.  It was the type of feminism that didn’t name or declare itself loudly- it just was.  Both men and women can become matai or chiefs.  And we treat in-laws who stay with the family- nofo tane and fai ava- with equal disdain whether they are men or women. In my own family, my Grandma ruled supreme.  She didn’t need an iron fist- she had razor intellect and was known to promptly put anyone in their place (though since I never saw anyone actually disagree with her- I never actually witnessed that. In Samoan culture, people take the first name of their father as their last name- this makes it easier to ‘tala le gafa’ or tell genealogies.  My father took his mother's and his father's first names.  It wasn’t a statement- it was just who he was.  I was brought up believing that I could do anything that my brothers could- though I did feign female weakness when it came to taking out the rubbish.

I always felt my culture valued me as a  woman. This was encapsulated in the concept of feagaiga- the sacred relationship between a brother and sister.  In Samoan we say- 'o le tuafafine o le ioimata o lana tuagage'- a sister is the very pupil of her brother’s eye- she is the centre of his being.  It is my brother’s duty to protect and look after me, it is my duty to guide them.  In the distribution of gifts and titles, mine will be the final say among my brothers, as my grandma’s was the final say among hers. A sister has traditional spiritual power. It is this most special of relationships that is signified by the stars of the malu.  It signifies that a sister is a guiding light to navigate by.  And woe be to the brother who invokes his sisters curse- you’ve read about telesa powers so you might be able to imagine….

All over the world I have been stopped in the street and asked about the symbolism of my malu.  I  am proud to explain how the vaeali- the feet of the head rest- symbolise that it is on the service of the untitled that the chiefs heads rest.  That the pattern with the intersecting lines represents the intersection between the matai- the chiefs, the aumaga- the untitled mens group and the aualuma, the young womens group led by the taupou.  That the aveau, the starfish represents aiga, family and the central role that family plays in our culture.  And that the malu itself, the centre of the entire design, the diamond, represents being protected and to protect.  That a woman is the protecter of bloodlines and of knowledge and the bearer of children.

So while 16 year old me wanted a malu, I’m glad I waited till I was 27- till I could reflect on what my malu really meant to me. It is more than a birthright, for me it signifies my culture and all of its fire, feagaiga, and feminism.

Faafetai, faafetai tele lava

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*I was very grateful to the amazing Lani Wendt-Young and Griffith University (the lovely Glenda Stanley) for inviting me to speak for 5 minutes at the Brisbane launch of 'The Bone Bearer' about my journey in getting the malu. The above are the short speaking notes for the presentation I gave. 

While these notes are about my journey with my malu, I want to write a short postscript about Lani's journey.  One of the things I have really admired most about her journey is how all along it, Lani has encouraged and empowered so many other people.  While writing her books, I have watched from afar as she has encouraged artists, photographers, models, dancers, poets, comedians (take a bow fabulously funny Gau Siaki) and fellow bloggers and writers.   In turn, all these myriad of people have supported Lani. It has been a real lesson in the power of positivity. It has been my great privilege to be one of those people to have been encouraged by Lani, and to have been able to give back in this smallest of ways.

True confessions of a teine Samoa

So I'm going to tell you something just a little bit scandalous for a Samoan girl. I imagine that your eyes are already skipping down the screen to read my revelation.... yes I know you and your faikakala-ness so well! Well slow down and I'll share my school girl fantasy, for the very first time ....EVER.....

Oh wait.....I don't need to, because Lani Wendt-Young somehow read teenage me's mind! Then she wrote all about it in "When Water Burns"! I feel like the "bride stripped bare".  Ok I know you're all nodding in agreement and understanding, and thinking, it's Daniel.... *heavy sigh* and Keahi.... *even heavier sigh*, it's the fact that they're both super hot paddlers in an outrigger competition, and they're both super cut, that they both have tattoos, that they have super powers, and that they are fighting over me Leila....Ok I admit that may play a very very very small part in it...but kicking one of those guy's butts when he gets a bit too cheeky... now that's what extravagent and unrestrained imagination is ALL about!

The first book in the Telesa trilogy "Telesa-The Covenant Keeper" had left us on tenterhooks. Sure Daniel's responsible, and really good looking, sure he was head prefect, and sure he plays rugby, and sure he is close to perfect to take home to your parents if anyone ever does that in Samoa, in my day you'd have had to have a death wish .  Those are all great qualities, but they're not necessarily the type of qualities that will turn a girl's head in high school.  Plus I'm, I mean, Leila is a fire goddess... so he kind of needed to step up his game.  So when, at the end of Telesa the sea returns Daniel safe, I was already imagining him swimming  in various states of undress with sharks and I couldn't wait to see that birthmark again how his super powers would manifest.

When Water Burns built brilliantly on Telesa, using the clever character development and scene setting in the first book, to make this second book faster paced and even more impossible to put down.  I was smiling wryly to myself, reading about iphone 4 conversations, on the kindle app on my iphone 4s (I obviously had to get the gratuitous mention of my iphone in there, you know I did!).  Yes it was wrecking my eyes, but it was enabling reading while doing the domestic duties that desperately needed the most attention you know little things, like feeding my child.

When Water Burns delves more into the "dalacious" Simone, who really comes into her own in the second book of the series. Simone is still screamingly funny (see Tim Baice's write-up in Simone in the City for some great insights), but in this book Simone is the girlfriend we all wanted, wise and witty, making sure Leila sees sense... such as ensuring she makes appropriate arrangements for her Louboutin shoes (appropriate arrangements being willing them to Simone of course, I said wise, not lacking in self-interest!)


I'm a reader, a book worm, a super geek. I embrace it! As anyone who has ever glanced at my blog will know, for me reading has been a real joy, a comfort and a constant companion.  Perhaps it's because we all love sharing our own passions, that I loved how Telesa and When Water Burns appealed to many people who don't necessarily have those particular proclivities. It's one of the things I love about both books. Like Twilight, and The Hunger Games Series, it opened up reading to so many young Samoans, who may not have otherwise have been interested in reading.  That's an amazing thing.


But for me, an even more amazing thing, and what I liked best about When Water Burns was how it confronted the issue of sexual abuse, a serious and difficult issue, especially in Samoa.  The fact that When Water Burns wove in this issue that we avoid, that we don't address or talk about, into this Young Adult fantasy romance, that is reaching so many, really made this book more than just a great read.  As a child who was sexually abused, I know too well how this topic is taboo. How it can be swept under the carpet. How victims are too often voiceless.  I remember the deep feeling of shame I had all through school, how it was so unspeakable, because I thought this was only something that had only ever happened to me. But I grew up. And I realised that I wasn't the only one, that it had also happened to an awful lot of others, others who hadn't spoken out and stopped it as I did as a child, that it was in fact, all too common.  I realised that it's something that we, as a society, need to speak about.  Because here's the thing about all the secrecy that surrounds sexual abuse, there is an unspoken implication that it somehow reflects on those who suffered. We never hear about the survivors, or, if we do, we never hear about their successes. We only hear survivors' stories when they are recounted as part of a tragic tale about a person who has gone off the tracks.  This is why, a long time ago, I decided to no longer be silent. To say openly, I was sexually abused, and that does not define me or mean I am damaged.  To say I was sexually abused, and I refuse to be stereotyped, I am no longer ashamed, and I don't need sympathy. To say I was sexually abused, and I'm a succesful member of society. And to say that as a member of society, not just as someone who was sexually abused, I applaud an author who can bring this issue front and centre in a fun racy Young Adult romance that people will read and relate to.

And so, just as she pays "tribute to the generosity, commitment, and fortitude of those who work with survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse", I pay tribute to Lani Wendt-Young, who was brave enough to write about it. To say I appreciate it and oh teenage me also appreciated the gratuitous descriptions of both Keahi and Daniel in that outrigger competiotion, and LOVES how Leila can kick ass anytime. Write on!

Simone in the city

Some of the 'lovely ladies" at Mardi Gras

Well as you all know Sydney is the centre of all fabulousness. And it celebrates the said fabulousness each year with Mardi Gras, a gay pride event that originated out of the police trying to shut down the parade in 1978. In general, if you ever try to tell Aussies they can't do something, this irreverant bunch will turn up in numbers to show that they can. I love that attitude. Speaking of attitudes I loved and fabulousness- for those of you who have yet to have the plearsure, let me introduce you to Lani Wendt-Young's character in her recently published Young Adult Fiction Book- 'Telesa'- the one and only 'Simone'.

"...he strutted along the corridor with all the studied ease of a runway model, stopping often to greet passersby.
"Daahling, how was your weekend? No way! Was he there? Ohmigosh, you're kidding. I hate you! Tell me all about it at lunch. Oh, girlfriend wait up. how was your Friday night. I heard about the V-Bar hmmm, you wicked girl! I know I was busy at home with our faalavelave and doing all the chores going crazy I couldn't get out. See you later! Yoohoo daaahling!"
Like the Queen of England ackowledging her humble courtiers...."

There is no doubt in my mind, that Simone would love Sydney, and Sydney would love Simone- they both have that 'joie de vivre'. So I am very excited to host Telesa's author Lani Wendt-Young on this blog to delve into Ms Simone.

Lani Wendt-Young: Thanks for having me on your blog Sisilia. I haven’t come here solo today – with me is TELESA reader Tim Baice who’s studying at Auckland University. i had this idea of getting a fafafine to give me their feedback on Simone. Tim is way more knowledgeable about the world that the character of Simone has grown up in and I’ve asked him to share his (vivacious and fiery) thoughts on Simone and on the portrayal of fafafine in Pacific fiction….

Simone and the ‘Third Gender’ - “You took a page out of one of our diaries.”

Si-mone has a natural appeal, especially in the way in which you have introduced him in the novel. We as the readers see through Leila's eyes as she is slowly making sense of her surroundings so people who lack experience with Fa'afafige are generally introduced to one - food for thought for people I guess - a really delicious tactic which I find you use in the book a lot - leave people hanging for more. I like how Uncle Tuala's description of Fa'afafige “a boy who is like a girl” just touches the surface, without trying too much to put them into a certain category – it represents a wide view.

I really like Simone's character because there isn't a lot of Pacific fiction published by/for/about Pacific people and I feel that what is missing in the literature are the stories of the third gender - fa'afafine - and if they are mentioned it’s normally just to highlight everything that is apparently "wrong with society" – a deficit lens approaches. I really like how you've written Simone in just to be a natural part of Samoa College, you've normalized it and haven't really made his/her inclusion an issue. I also really liked how Leila conceived of and articulated Simone's character - through her hand movements, the way she spoke, the things she talked about, the natural make up, the lip gloss and did so in a way the clearly painted an image but did not taint Simone's character - I really liked how there was no judgement there - not that you would blame Leila for doing so.

Si-mone reminds me of so many of my mala friends here in NZ, but especially the ones in Samoa and they're the ones that tend to not have their voices heard in stories (this is so predominant in Pacific Research especially research around Pacific youth). The beautiful thing about Telesa is that everyone that reads it is able to take away from it something different according to experiences/tastes/beliefs and the inclusion of Simone is like an acknowledgment of fa'afafines and their role in Samoan society. A lot of people would be able to relate to Si-Mone which is one of the key reasons why I think Simone's character is important. Plus Simone just adds a level of flare that Sinalei or any other back up's aren't able to LOL. (Sorry to all the Sinalei's out there). Simone’s eccentric character is a nice distraction from the pain we all feel (when Daniel puts his shirt back on) or as Leila tries to control her passion for Daniel. The fast talking mouth, the hand gestures, the makeup, the trying to be prettier than everyone else classic classic classic loved it!

Simone is a classic character. The mala at school that befriends and gossips with all the girls, that knows everyone’s business, and is only after the hottest guys at school! Let's not forget the person who does everything to stand out in any way possible especially in relation to the other girls around her. Simone is a loveable character, and I like how he took on a nurturing role to Leila. This was very true to life. A lot of girls gravitate towards fa’afafiges in schools because they say it straight, and I’ve experienced it myself at Uni in terms of fa’afafige being older sisters to younger and inexperienced girls. You could see this in the way Simone fussed over Leila's taupou outfit and then turned out to be best buddies with Aunty Matile - such a realistic character! That's why reading this book had me cracking up because it was like you took a page out of one of our diaries and wrote a character about it (no not the pages about Daniel, and how his shorts sat precariously low on his hips, NOO those pages were private) LOL. So yes it was really easy to connect and appreciate Simone. It was also very realistic to read about Simone's issues with some of the other guys (Daniel having to protect Simone from bullying), which you know is common with fa'afafige so Simone wasn't this glorified ‘Aunty’, he was a real fa'afafige who had endured the same issues most of us do in life.

I also really liked and could easily relate to Simone's caring disposition towards Daniel. How Simone was so protective of Daniel given their history but also at the same time making known his personal feelings of affection towards Daniel. This tension played out quite nicely and seemed so natural. I almost feel like as Simone constantly questions Leila's relationship status with Daniel, his declaration of support for her as taupou accompanying Daniel's solo is part of this, “I'm in love with him but there is nothing I can do, can only dream of it, because the imperfect society we live in, a relationship between he and I could never work kind of thing, so I’m stuck with going along with whatever makes him happy and clearly it’s this magu Leila” LOL.
In summary, Simone's character gives great insight into the role of fa'afige in Samoa. My one suggestion would be that it would have been great to see some fa'afafige lingo in the mix, einjo, nupi, maja, neite, just to add a bit more spice and make her/him that much more real. All part of the "reals" diet.

(You’ll note I used he/she interchangeably. Sometimes when you get this wrong when meeting a Fa’afafige, you can be in trouble! )

From one Daniel lover to another.

Huge Fan.

Tim.

Thank you Tim. Love your thoughts on Simone and will definitely be taking on your suggestion of fafafine lingo in Book 2. Can I get some lingo tutorials from you pleeease!?

Telesa:The Covenant Keeper is now avail. from Sleepless in Samoa and from Amazon.
EBook - $5.99 Print Book - $14.95.

Books, blogging and blame

I didn't blog last weekend. I blame Lani Wendt-Young. Yes, Lani! I know that may cause shock waves amongst her loyal fans and followers. But read on, and you will see that this is not a baseless accusation.

I was very careful not to offer to review this book prior to publication. Not to say I would have been taken up on the offer in any event. Having admired Lani and her blog 'Sleepless in Samoa' (in that order) from afar, I was dying to read her book. BUT how to go about it... what if I didn't like it?!? Super AWKWARD!!! I've never been the sort of person who can tailor my opinion to sound more positive than it really is. Also I was worried that if I was reviewing based on a book that had been given to me, no matter how much I liked it, the review may seem slightly sychophantic.

So I decided to be patient (which has never been one of my virtues). I paid my $5.99 on Amazon and instant gratification. Telesa magically appeared on my kindle. I know it has something to do with 3G, or radio waves, or mobile technology or something like that. Whatever. I prefer to think of it as magic. Because you're never too old to believe (and because technology is really not my strong point).

And I did believe. In Leila, Daniel, and of course the screamingly funny Simone'. The characters jump off the page. And that too is a little bit of magic. As I said on Amazon Leila's powers- of fire and earth, the power of volcanoes, is compelling and let's face it...pretty damn cool. Leila's struggle with finding her identity, and her powers, all while she falls in heady, heart-wrenching, love with the hunky Daniel, pulls you in, and doesn't let you go till the very last page.

'Telesa, The Covenant Keeper' is "Young Adult" fiction and it will clearly capture teenager's imaginations (and the imagination of those of us who are still children at heart).

Perhaps the thing I loved most about the book was that I actually forgot it was by Lani. I forgot it was written by a Samoan. Like any good book, I was caught up in the fantasy, in this other world. As I wrote on Amazon- Yes this book was based in Samoa. Yes it's by a Samoan author. But that background information was just that. This book transcends culture, it deserves a wide audience, and should appeal to fans of both romance and fantasy genres. The characters, rich and three dimensional, come alive under a hot tropical sun, even all the way over here in Sydney, I could feel the heat.

So back to not blogging. As a young mother (well my baby is young, and I'm pretending to be) I have very little spare time. And it is very, very, very hard to blog when you can't put a book down. Yes I mean physically unable put it down. I was discovering agility I never knew I had, slinging the baby under one arm, quickly handing him over to his dad, and diving under the duvet covers, hoping to hide, 'Telesa' in hand.I didn't have time to blog and I blame Lani Wendt-Young. And I can't wait till March till the second book in the series comes out, and I can blame her again!!!